a new life emerging: Please Stop It.

this is definitely worth the read.
My thoughts are far too muddy to try to write. thoughts????

argh!!!!

A friend, who runs our children's ministry, asked me to put together a little slideshow from a recent Sunday morning event. No problem...Import photos into iphoto, import song into in itunes, mix well, kick the whole thing over to iDVD then burn...15-20 minutes tops. 4 1/2 hours later I was still at it. I couldn't figure out, for the life of me, why the discs wouldn't play in our DVD player.
I sat back, took a deep breath and in a startling moment of clarity I remembered I had my ipod hooked up to the computer to charge. I really don't know why this would effect a DVD burn but I unplugged said ipod and tried again. Bingo!!! It worked.
I bumbled into bed at roughly 1:30 am, only to have get up a mere 4 hours later to start my Sunday. Needless to say I am iexhausted. Getting sleepy... eyes closing... very cranky...nite nite.

Unexpected gift

I received an unexpected gift two nights ago. I was at fundraising banquet for a friend who is on Young Life staff. Fortunately, I got to sit next to an old friend named Nick.
Our wives were making small talk with the folks sitting on either side of them. Nick leaned in real close to me and in whispered tones started telling me a story about something he and his wife recently went through. He described to me how they could see the effects of spiritual warfare in their lives, how they dealt with it and how they could see God's hand moving when they dared to live the life God intended; really a very cool story.
The coolest part though is Nick himself. I met Nick 12 years ago when he was a high school student. He started coming to a young life club we were running. Over time, he came to know and follow Christ. What an amazing thing to think back 12 years ago and then to sit there and listen to this man tell me stories about God in his life.
How I wish, every person who invested time in, reached out to, and hung in there with a high school student could have a conversation like the one I had with Nick.

Celebration of discipline 6&7-Simplicity & Solitude

I have combined my thoughts on chapters 6&7 because I needed to catch up. But as I went through Foster's chapters on Simplicity and Solitude (silence) I realized it makes sense to discuss them together. Foster's take on Simplicity and solitude comes down to a matter of trust.

Trust as it relates to Simplicity seems, well, a fairly simple concept. We entrust our possessions to God. We trust that God will provide, we trust that God will care for our stuff and we trust that if we give our stuff away God will honor our act of sacrifice.

Trust, as it relates to solitude, IMHO is a more complicated matter. It is trust indeed that that allows us to embark into solitude. Foster tells us that solitude and silence go hand in hand. Here is where the trust comes in: "We are so accustomed to relying upon our words to manage and control others. If we are silent who will take control? God will take control; but we will never let Him take control until we trust Him. Silence is intimately related to trust."

So...Do I trust God? With my possessions? I have good days and bad days. When money is tight I am much more likely to say, "okay God I'll take the wheel for a little bit."
This is one where I could really see Jesus looking at me and saying, like he said to the disciples, "Are you still dull?" He has provided for my family in miraculous ways, time and time again. And yet I still feel like I need control over my finances.

Do I trust God? With my silence? When it is just me and God, I have grown to really enjoy these times of silence. More to Foster's point, however, when there are others involved I am much more likely to break the silence. I attribute part of this to leaders I have worked and served under up to this point. Each of them very dynamic, outspoken, often opinionated men who lead with their words. At some level, I feel compelled to a more verbose leadership style. It often feels awkward and not at all my style. The rest is exactly like Foster describes. I often speak to control and influence those around me. I speak to make sure people leave me with the impression I desire. I need to trust God with my Silence.
If I can do that, I think I could actually be a more effective leader, husband, friend, father. If I were to concentrate on my silence I would be likely to "say what needs to be said when it needs to be said." I would hear more of what people are trying to say to me. People might leave with the impression that God desired rather than the one I desire.

Darth Jared

We celebrated my younger son Jared's 4th B-day this week. It was a Star Wars birthday; the gifts, the decorations, and the cupcakes. (Gail is an accomplished cake/cupcake decorator.)











The highlight of the b-day festivities was the Darth Vader Voice Changer. The thing spouts out quotes from the movie, does the heavy breathing bit and morphs your voice into a James Earl Jones replica.

Thougts on "Please no more doing church for them"

Ryan Bolger has started an excellent discussion on creating church services for "spiritual seekers." His premise is that we shouldn't because {my really rough paraphrase} :

1. inevitably we will screw it up
2. it defines following Christ as an hour a week
3. it perpetuates an us and them mentality (both sacred vs secular and laity vs clergy)
4. perpetuates a McDonald's form of spirituality (producer/consumer)

A couple of themes emerge from the comments:

1. Total agreement with Ryan's points
2. Why does a church service have to be either/or

This one, might be my favorite, as it hits very close to my suburban home:

What would it look like to be missional, that is, to apply your principles, in rural Wisconsin, (where IÂ’m from) or the average suburb? It might look more like what too many on the emerging church scene deride than they would like to imagine.
Posted by: David

I live in the cliche that is Trumbull, CT. A suburb, in the truest sense of the word. For the last 2-3 years I have struggled with totally resonating with the hopes, dreams and concerns of the emerging/missional church while living and ministering in the stereotypical context of the seeker church. As I wrestle with this paradox, I am drawn back to this thought from Ryan:

What Christians need to do is create meaningful worship through bringing their very own lives to God. Worship must reflect the culture of the community that is currently part of the church...Instead of mimicking other church cultures, the community collectively brings their own idiosyncratic ways of life to God, whatever they may be.

As I have contemplated this post, what excites me, what has eased my sense of struggle is, our little community is emerging in its own right. I think someone would be hard pressed to label Crossroads as seeker-sensitive or emerging or whatever. What that says to me is we truly are "reflecting the culture of our community," we are bringing our "indiosyncrasies," whether they be seeker-oriented or missionally-oriented, to God.

I am indeed grateful for this conversation and the ensuing mental gymnastics it inspired. Many thanks to Ryan and all who contributed.

Numb3rs !@$%#!

I have had conversations with youth guys and gals from around the country that just flat out make me sad and angry all at the same time. One youth pastor friend told me he received this direction from his Sr. Pastor: "Don't worry about spiritual development get more kids to your program. You can worry about the spiritual growth stuff later" No joke, that was a real conversation.

I talked to a couple of guys who run regional youth ministries for a megachurch. They have to call or email their boss the day after their programs and report attendance numbers.

I used to be a part of a ministry where we would brag about squeezing 100 kids into somebody's living room.

I run a youth ministry now where, on a big numbers night, we get 30 students.

I have never been more convinced that numbers just don't matter. The only number that matters is 1.
That 1 student who would never darken the door of a church but shows up at frisbee every week...
That 1 student, who is so hyper and obnoxious, you have to sit on him to get him to stay still...
That 1 student who steps up and leads...
That 1 student who shows up at your house because there is no one at his house who cares...
That 1 student who says thanks you are doing a good thing...
That 1 student who reaches out to his friends because somebody reached out to him...
That 1 student who says I'm never gonna believe any of this God stuff...
That 1 student who finally gets it...

I'll take that 1 student over the 100 anyday.

Celebration of Discipline 5-Study

Important bullets from the Discipline of study:

Good feelings will not free us. Ecstatic experiences will not free us. Getting "high on Jesus" will not free us. Without a knowledge of the truth, we will not be free.

What we study determines what kind of habits are to be formed.

Arrogance and a teachable spirit are mutually exclusive.

Remember that the key to the Discipline of study is not reading many books but experiencing what we do read.

Study produces joy.

Each of the above caused me to stop and think but what really captured my attention was Foster's discussion of the study of nonverbal books. Foster suggests that we devote time to the study of nature, relationships, technology, culture, institutions and ourselves. All of the above, seem to me worthwhile ventures. I was, however, taken aback by the thought of studying myself. At first it struck as mere navel gazing. In light of Foster's further discussion it seemed a more valuable and daunting endeavor. Foster suggests, "We should learn the things that control us. Observe your inner feelings and mood swings. What controls your moods? What can you learn about yourself from that?"

The two things that jump to mind as controlling factors in my life are my circumstances and other people's opinions; the results of growing up in the home of an alcoholic. Perfectionist tendencies and people pleasing can often bear way too much influence on my actions and decisions. A friend helped me make the connection between my family of origin and these two behaviors. (Foster's point about live discussions as part of the study process played out)
I know these factors exist. I even have an idea of when they are most likely to come into play. What I still need to learn, to study more on, is how to let the Holy Spirit work in, through, around, and hopefully instead of perfectionism and people pleasing.

Stories from St Bernard's

We got home from Louisiana late Saturday night amidst a downpour, the likes of which, I have never seen. I'm not sure what that is... irony? a reminder of where we just were? I don't know but it struck me as odd.

I met so many incredible people while working in St Bernard's Parish. The first person I met was Pastor Randy Millet. Randy lived in St Bernard's all his life. He lost everything, as did everyone else who lives in the Parish. He lost his house, his church, his community, he lost an aunt and uncle, whose bodies he found. And yet through it all he cannot be kept away from the people and the parish that he loves so much. Randy is the man running the relief center where we were working. As people came to the center, many of them returning from their homes for the first time since Katrina hit, Randy would greet them and through tear stained eyes he would give them a smile and a hug. In Randy Millet, the people of St Bernard's, find hope and strength. As we were preparing to leave on Friday Randy pulled me aside and thanked me for our work and compassion. I told him I wished we could do more. And then get this....he asked me what he could do for me.
As we hugged, Randy said, "Go home and tell our story, people need to know what is going on down here. Please tell our story."

I met a woman named Tina. She is now housing eleven members of her family who lost their homes in her temporary two bedroom apartment. Her family ranges in age from a grand-niece who is two months old to her mom who, I'm guessing is seventy-something. I carried some water to her car for her. She said "Thank you baaaby," as only a woman from New Orleans could.
I helped her mom June, get into the car. June told me how proud she was of Tina. All I could do was agree with her. June looked at me and thanked me for being there. If anyone has right to be bitter or angry it was Tina and June. They weren't. They were sad and heartbroken over their loss but they were the most gracious and grateful people I have ever met.

I met a man named Gene. Gene and his dog Humbug decided not to evacuate and brave the storm from their home. Gene, a proud 76 year old man, with a healthly swath of white hair told us his story. On the day Katrina hit, Gene told us he fell asleep on his couch for about an hour. He woke up and put his feet down on the carpet and thought little Humbug had had an accident. Then he realized his entire living room was under three inches of water. He told us, with a big smile, he knew Humbug wasn't a big enough dog to make that big a mess. The water in his home rose quickly. Gene and Humbug retreated to his attic then to his rooftop where he survived on Ensure for the next 8 days. Gene told us he got tired of waiting. So he attached Humbug's leash and they swam for it.
I said "you did what?"
Gene replied, "Oh it wasn't a big deal, I was a great swimmer in college. We just swam from rooftop to treetop to a floating piece of fence and just kept doing that until someone rescued us."
Gene told us how he was being treated like a celebrity, his senator even called to wish him well. Again with a big sly smile he told us how he kind of liked all the attention he was getting.

I met a man named Sam. This one started off a little rough. We loaded up the suburban with food, water and safety gear. We set off into the neighborhoods and were offering our supplies to the folks who were either working on their homes, meeting insurance adjusters or just trying to retrieve anything that might have survived the hurricane. We wanted to take pictures to show everyone back home just had bad things were. But, we also wanted to be sensitive to the people whose lives had been turned upside down. There was a crew from the power company working on a house. Two of the crew, or so we thought, were leaning against a vehicle taking a break. The house behind the crewmen had a sailboat resting on its roof. We slowed down to take a picture. It turns out that one of the crewmen was Sam and it was on his house where the boat had come to rest.
He said, "that will be a $1.50."
And we all kind of chuckled.
He said, "no really, you're gonna get that for free, that'll be a buck-fifty."
Realizing he wasn't joking, Todd, one of the guys in the back seat of the suburban, leaned out his window and offered him something to eat and drink. We stopped and talked for 1/2 an hour or so in front of his house. We talked about the damage to his house and his neighbor's houses. We talked about what he did before Katrina hit. We told him where the relief center was set up and ask him to please come there and take a rest and get a hot meal. He said "okay...maybe" and we parted ways.
Sam came by the relief center 3 or 4 times in the next two days. During one of those visits, Karen, one of our team, apologized to Sam for taking the photo of his house. She told him how she wanted to be able to show everyone back home the extent of the devastation. She told him how she hoped the pictures might encourage others to come down and help.
Sam replied, "if that's what it takes I'll put my house on the internet, I'll invite people into my living room so they can see first-hand how bad things are."

There are many, many more stories to tell. There are many, many more people who need someone to listen to them and to offer them a cold bottle of water. It's the volunteer relief workers who are doing these things and who will be needed to keep doing these things, and to help with the clean-up and to help with the rebuilding. If you are thinking about volunteering please check out one of these sites.

To help out in the Gulf Region:
PRC-Compassion
Samaritan's Purse
American Red Cross

To help out in your local area:
America's Second Harvest

St Bernard's Parish, LA

There is too much of everything to describe what is going on down here. We have been working a relief center in St Bernards Parish, described to us as the most devastated part of the greater New Orleans area, that has been opened back up. We unload trucks, hand out food and water, pray with a few people and listen to their stories. The people's stories of heroism, sadness, devastation and loss are heartwrenching. We all have pictures but they still won't explain what it is really like. the whole thing is very surreal soldiers with M-16, helicopters, the scenery is what I imagine a war zone would look like. Trucks where boats should be, boats where trucks should be, boats on rooftops.

We went out into some of the neighborhoods today to hand out food, water, gloves, and breathing masks for people who were trying to salvage remnants of their homes. I have tried to stay away from the media coverage of this thing but I wish the media would go into some the neighborhoods and try to capture what these folks are going through...still.

What has amazed me the most though, is the overwhelmingly positive attitudes and gratitude of the people of New Orleans.

... needs here are still overwhelming. We have been told donations and volunteers are down.

...more when I return next week.

Going to Louisiana

Posts have been few and far between recently.
I wrote the week after Katrina hit about the things I thought I should do and our community at Crossroads could do. Well not long after that I started feeling like I needed to go to New Orleans to do what I could. Here we are a couple weeks later and I am headed down to Louisiana tomorrow. We are bringing a small team of folks from Crossroads to help clean-up, pass out food and water, hang out with kids while their parents try to reassemble their lives, basically do whatever is needed. We partnered up with an organization called PRC Compassion out of Baton Rouge.
Please continue to pray for the people of the Gulf Coast. Pray for our team that we might have servant hearts and flexible attitudes. Pray that God might prepare us for whatever it is we might see and have to do.

Celebration of Discipline Part 3-Imagination and Prayer

How surprising it was to me, in a chapter on prayer, Foster spent a great deal of time on imagination; imagining answers to prayer, imagining God's power surging through you as the one praying, imagining the light and love of Christ.
When you stop and think about it makes perfect sense. In athletics, we are coached to visualize the game saving tackle, in business we are encouraged to visualize closing the big deal. I don't think I ever took the time to imagine a prayer through to it's successful completion.
As I sit here, I imagine my college roommates discovering Jesus. I imagine my mom happily remarried to a man who loves her and loves the Lord. I imagine my boys as grown men reaching out to hurting people with the Love of Christ. I imagine the students God has entrusted to me owning their faith. I imagine Gail and I, all old and wrinkly, sitting on the front porch waiting for the grankids to arrive. I imagine....Amen.

The Celebration of Discipline. Parts 1 & 2

Two lines jumped out at me from the very first page of the book.

The desperate need today is not for a greater number of intelligent people, or gifted people, but for deep people.

In fact, the disciplines are best exercised in the midst of our normal daily activities.

I would love to be thought of as a deep person. I would love for that to be the case as witnessed by those who see me in my "normal daily activities." I think the ability to be deep in the midst of our everyday lives ties directly into the concept he talks about in Chapter 2 on Meditation, Otium Sanctum: " holy leisure" p 20. If I am guilty of idolatry in any area of my life it is in relation to my schedule. If I am not doing, if I am not running from one meeting or program to the next, if I am not "stressed out," then I must be doing something wrong. Foster's answer to my predicament is to "pursure holy leisure with a a determination that is ruthless to my datebook." Ouch!!

What will people think of me if I am not constantly moving? What if I exhibited peace instead of stress? What if my schedule reflected balance? Ssomeone might accuse me of being deep.

-----------------------

A great tool that I have found for guided contemplative prayer is Sacred Space. It is a daily prayer site run by Irish Jesuits. I have found it really helpful in the process Foster describes as, "emptying the mind in order to fill it"

Links worth a look

Usually, when I get pointed to a new blog and I find it compelling, I will drop it in my feedreader and just go about my merry way. I was recently pointed to Jesus the Radical Pastor written by John Frye and knew I needed to let more people know about it. John's writing is down to earth, insightful and challenging. If you are serious about living life in the way of Jesus then you need to check out Jesus the Radical Pastor.

Steve of Ragamuffin Ramblings has set up A Virtual Celebration to journey through Richard Foster's Celebration of Discipline. I have read the book before but look forward to the group-think of this classic.

Last month's issue of Wired magazine offered an article on the best of the audioblogs. The recco that I have enjoyed the most is Music for Robots.

Enjoy

Katrina

I actually started a post about Katrina last night. As I was writing it the news came on and I was overwhelmed, I deleted what I had written and went to bed.

Not sure why necessarily, but after reading Steve's post on Katrina and her victims I felt moved to do something.
So I will pray and I will give. I am encouraging our community at Crossroads to do the same. I would encourage you to do the same. Pray for the victims and their relatives, pray for the rescue workers, police and National Guard trying to restore order.
For those of us geographically far removed from the area send financial support.

Here are links to Americares and the Red Cross. I reccomend these two because very high percentages of our donations actually go to help those in need rather than bankrolling big bureaucracies.

Days are getting shorter

After a whirlwind couple months of trips, of life change, of soaring highs and tragic lows the days are getting shorter, my boys have gone back to school...summer is over.

A number of images will stay with me long after the days of this summer have gone. The one that has replayed itself the often in my head was our trip to the National Seashore on the east coast of Cape Cod. Earlier in the summer, Gail and her mom had taken the boys there while I was in Philadelphia. By all accounts it was the perfect day. The water was warm, the breeze was slight and the waves were perfect for a seven year old to ride his boogie board with his mom.

When we returned it appeared to be another perfect day on the Cape. Jake couldn't wait to ride the waves with me. He was chomping at the bit, like a horse waiting in the gates before the start of a race. As we descended the walkway to the beach I couldn't believe all the people. Blankets, umbrellas, buckets, coolers and bodies as far as the eye could see. I noticed something else though, all those people on the beach and only three people in the water. The next thing I noticed was something that sounded like a never ending peel of thunder. Wave upon wave crashed, receded and ran into the next that crashed on top of it. I looked at Gail and said "You two rode those things. "
She replied "they were...uh... different"
We got settled and Jake strapped the leash of his boogie board to his wrist, grabbed me by the hand and shouted "Let's go."
We stood at the shoreline for while. As the waves broke over my feet and shins I felt a dull pain. It was the chill of 59 degree water that was aching me. It didn't seem to bother Jake at all. "Come on Dad let's go, let's go."
"You sure bud?" I said.
"Yeah, come on," and all of a sudden we were standing in the impact zone of the waves.
"Okay, let's go." We paddled through the first waves to beyond the break. I spotted the next big one, "Here it comes bud, kick" I shouted over the waves. Sharing the same board, we kicked and caught the wave, which was way bigger than either one of us expected. It tore me off the board, flipped me over and pounded me into the rock and sand. I found my feet and popped up looking for Jake. I saw his feet and the red of swim suit rush by me as the next wave broke on top of him and knocked me for another loop. I again righted myself and began to search frantically for him. Another wave dumped him with in arms-reach and I grabbed him.
We were both bruised and scraped and wearing about 12 pounds of sand but otherwise okay.
Gail came rushing down to see if we were okay and comforted Jake as only a mother could after a harrowing experience.
I was bent over trying to catch my breath. I replayed the last two minutes in my head. I realized what a stupid thing we had done. As I look around, I also noticed that our little adventure had attracted a small crowd of people who were in that frigid water up to their thighs. As they recoginized Jake was okay they dispersed.
In that instant, for that brief period of time, a small group people had come together because my son was in trouble. They got out of their chairs and up off their blankets and braved the sting of the cold water and the harshness of the waves to try to help Jake. For that moment, we were connected and I was moved by the concern of complete strangers for my son. I am grateful for their efforts. What an awesome picture of otherwise disconnected people coming together for the sake of my son.

What thoughts from the Summer of '05 are gonna stay with you?

Sad News

The phone, at my in-law's, rang early this Monday morning. It was our friend Stacee calling to tell us there had been a terrible accident. Our friend John had had a massive heart attack while riding his motorcycle and died late Sunday night. John leaves behind his wife Sarah and two children Emily 5, and Luke 2.
This week has been a blur for their family of emotion and activity. Please pray for them, for comfort and peace and rest and for God's presence to be with them, now more than ever.

V A C A T I O N

We had a great week, last week, at Young Life's Saranac Village with our high school students. A couple of our kids made first time comittments to Christ and others took huge steps on their journies. Oh yeah and we managed to have a blast too!!!

Now I get to go away with my own kids for a while. Nothin' but beach and sun and rest and getting to know each other again after a really hectic summer. So... I won't be posting for the next week or so.
Peace and prayers.

Intergen stuff happening

There are several conversations going on in the blogosphere regarding intergenerational ministry. This one at emergent-us had a great original post and handful of comments, then the whole thing got derailed and wound up in some nasty name calling and finally landed on a discussion of Marxism, I think. So check out the original post and the first 10 or so comments.
Matthew over at M Squared T blog has some good thoughts too.
In the real world, our Sr. pastor gave a message a few weeks ago about change and why it is so important and how hard it can feel and actually be. He used a phrase that has stuck with me, "We need to make room for each other."
In my mind, that phrase sums it all up. The task of not only crossing age barriers, but cultural barriers, financial barriers, ethnic barriers will be much easier if we could simply make room for each other.
We have been hard at work to make room for each other at Crossroads. Several weeks ago, all of our music was rap. Three of our college-aged guys wrote and performed all the music that week. This past week, our band consisted of Richie age 13 on guitar, Sam age 20 on drums, and Brian age 40-something on bass and vocals. They opened with this reworked version of Come Thou Long Expected Jesus. It's definitely worth a listen.
Did eyebrows raise as Sam, Richie and Brian led us in worship? Yup. Were some people a little uncomfortable with the music style? Yup. Did the place erupt with applause when they finished? Absolutely. We are not there yet...but I get really excited about this picture.

An amazing week in Philly

That's all 21 of us on the steps of the Philadelphia Museum of Art, you know, the steps Sylvester Stallone ran up in the original Rocky movie.

The week was truly amazing. Each one of us was stretched way outside of our comfort zones. We hung out with folks in the parks of west Philly, sang songs and visited with seniors in the area, worked in local food pantries, repaired roofs, painted and cleaned up.


Each night the worship experiences were powerful and moving. (Despite the fact that the first 2 days we were there, there was no power and no a/c and the thermometer hit 100) I prayed prayers of commitment, prayers of confession and prayers of surrender with several of our students. God truly did amazing things in us and through us.

I think the thing that excites me most is our students saw that in serving others, they might realize the "life to the full," that Jesus describes in John 10.