2nd trip to the Gulf Coast

We sent a second team of people from Crossroads down to the Gulf Coast to help out with the relief effort.  I stayed behind this time and playeed Mr Mom so Gail could go on the trip. 

I asked my friend Michael to share some of his thoughts on his trip.  Here it is:

So we were down in New Orleans, in St. Bernard Parish, where some of the worst flooding occurred when the levee let loose Lake Pontchartrain, leaving hundreds of homes under 9 feet of water for over 2 weeks.
  
We were heading to a distibution center run by a group called Pastors Resource Compassion. They have a huge tent sitting in the middle of a Wal-Mart parking lot where they're handing out food, clothes and other basic necessities to anyone from the area in need. I say anyone in the area, not anyone living in the area, because the area, for all intent and purposes, is destroyed. The 1000 to 2000 people coming through each day are either living in small FEMA trailers on ttheir devastated property or coming in for the day from friends' or families' homes or apartments outside the area salvaging, cleaning, or just staring at what they once had - a home.
  
 On our way to the center we drive a mile o! r two down the main drag - business after business, store after store, gas stations, grocery markets, banks, car dealers and barber shops, chuches and ice cream shops, you name it, all closed. Not because of a lot of damage, but because there aren't any people to buy anything. The few people in the trailers - they don't have any money - and if they do - they don't  have anywhere to put anything.
  
 But it's the streets off the main drag, whole neighborhoods, block after block, as far as your eyes can see - devastation - destruction - like I've never seen, like World War II news clips of the Allied bombing of Germany, an all to real episode of the Twilight Zone, like the End Times. House after house after house - total ruins - if it's still standing it's an empty shell - 9 feet of water - 2 weeks - that's a foot of water on the second floor of a 2 story home. Most of them were ranches. Some of the homes have been gutted, ev! erything that was in, is out. Look down the streets and you see big piles of debris in front of empty shells. Big piles of debris in front of empty shells? Hell! It's peoples lives, thier stuff, their valuables, their trinkets, their memories, their hopes for the future their home held for their families, for themselves, for their community - picture frames - the photo washed of its' image, broken dishes from family meals, a basketball, a little pink Big Wheel like my daughters we gave away last year, t.v.'s, couches, tables, towels, clothes - God it's like somebody ripped all your insides out and threw em on the ground in front you - its literally sickening to think what these people must feel when they see this, I'm feeling sick all over again telling you about it. Can you imagine what these people must feel? Can you imagine? God only knows. Only God will heal them. Let's pray. Let us all pray.

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2 Cor 1:3-4

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.
2 Cor 1:3-4 NIV

At some level, I have always known, on this walk with Jesus, the self; myself, is at best a tie for number 2 on the priority list...God, others and then me. As I read the verse above this morning I was reminded of this fact. It starts with praising God. We then read how God comforts us. That's nice and comfortable and meets the basic needs we think God should meet. The reason God comforts us is because he loves us....yes but it doesn't stop there. The reason He comforts us is so we can comfort others.
This has been God's pattern from the beginning. He blesses, comforts, equips, provides insights, grows and transforms His people, His children so that they might be a blessing, comfort, meeter of needs, relayer of truth, teacher and change agent in the lives of others.
Pick just about any story from the life of Jesus, He called Matthew and through Matthew "sinners and tax collectors got a chance to meet Him. He raised Lazursus rom the dead so that God might be glorified and because he loved Lazurus and Mary and Martha and so that "many of the Jews who had come to visit Mary, and had seen what Jesus did, put their faith in him."
So I sit here and take stock of what it is God has done in my life. Now I need to fill in the blanks....

God has done xxxx in my life, and met me in the midst of xxxxx, so that I might be and do xxxxx for others

How about you???

Middle School Weekend at Young Life's Lake Champion

Spending the Weekend with 300+ Middle Schoolers at Young Life's beautiful Lake Champion. Should be a great weekend we are bringing 30 students from Crossroads. Please pray for safety as we travel and while at camp and that God would draw each person there at least one step closer to him.
Oh yeah... prayer for energy and love and patience for me and the other leaders would be good too.

thanks.

Can't leave well enough alone

Well, I think I found the right combination of layout; three column, and readability. Props to Thur Broeders at thur's templates for doing the hardwork and making it available.

A different take on fasting

Rick, over at a new life emerging, has some great thoughts on fasting. There is something that rings right and true about fasting being a departure from "me-centered" spirituality. I'm still turning it over in my brain but I wanted to pass it along because it is worth the read.

technorati tags fasting Spiritual Disciplines

Word Cloud

This cool little web-bot scans your blog and creates this thing. Thanks to Holly for the link. I like the way Jesus ended up smack in the middle of the thing

Bumbling may be too generous a term

So I called this blog bumbling forward...Bumbling is generally how I move forward. Tripping falling, grabbing onto stuff to try to stay up, knocking other stuff over but when it is all said and done I usually end up ahead of where I started.

Case and point: Unbeknownst to me, somewhere along the way I did something to my blogger settings that made it necessary for me to approve each comment. Gail was talking to a friend who mentioned she had commented and I was all like "no she didn't." So I started poking around and found the source of the problem. She did indeed comment as well as 18 others.

To those of you gracious enough to comment please accept my humble apologies. If nothing else Bumbling forward is always an adventure.

When everything is said and done: Too close to home

okay...so three days after I write the last post I taught during our Sunday morning gatherings. The message I prepared was about Jesus as the image of the invisible God. In order to get the best picture of God we need to enlarge our view of Jesus to include his birth, life, message, ministry, death and ressurection. The message was heavy with visuals, scripture on the screen, and a video of various artist's depictions of Jesus.

Our first service starts at 9:00 am at 8:58 am after an hour of rebooting and reconfiguring and tweaking and guessing and switching cables I was unable to get any sort of image from the computer that runs our service to the screen. As I thought back to my post and the article that motivated it, I said "okay God...if want me to do this without any of the stuff I had planned then so be it." One last ditch effort...and it worked. At 9:01 the announcement loop started running and the service started.

God's got one sick sense of humor...


technorati tags Church marketing sucks

When everything is said and done

I found this thought regarding creating church experiences on Church Marketing sucks.com.

Yet the questions remain: How much should I do? What should I avoid? What is cool? What works?

Here's a simple approach I've learned...

If the electricity went out, and your walls fell down, and your biggest givers died, what would you have left? Would you have a community of people still seeking after the heart of God? Would you still worship even without a band? Would you still be able to learn about God even though you can't show a video or a PowerPoint slide? In other words, what you have when everything else goes away is what your church is really all about.

What great questions! I'm not sure if I have great answers. These questions are great filters to evaluate what we do in the name of ministry.

Technorati Tags church church marketing sucks

tag of 4s

Erin over at Biscotti Brain Posted this nifty little tag. Here are my responses:

Four Jobs I've Had:
1: Greens Keeper
2: Bank Teller
3: Sales guy (Consumer paper: toilet paper, paper towels cups plates, etc)
4: Youth Pastor

Four Movies I Watch Over and Over Again:
1: Godfather (only part 1 or 2)
2: Braveheart

Only those 2

Four Places I've Lived:
1: Connecticut
2: Pennsylvania
3: Arkansas
4: Ohio


Four TV Shows I Watch:
1: Lost
2: Scrubs
3: Rescue Me

That's about all I have time for


Four Places I've Vacationed:
1: St Maarten
2: Finger Lakes, NY
3: White Mountains, NH
4: Cape Cod, Mass

Four Websites I visit daily:
1: woot
2: Music for Robots
3: spiritual-formation.com
4: Pandora.com

Four of My Favorite Foods:
1: Steak
2: Penne a la vodka
3: Apple Pie
4: Big D cheeseburger from Duchess

Four Places I'd like to be right now:
1: Fully Here
2: The White Mountains
3: Cape Cod
4: "Sitting on a beach earning 20%" (said in a german accent)

Slink, Greg, Tracie, Uncle Ward...if you guys haven't done this yet feel like playing?

On finding a pastoral response

There is a string of posts and responses swirling around Brian Mclaren's article in Leadership journal. The article, I believe, was meant to focus on a pastor's response, i.e. how does one respond in love and concern to a defining question, such as homosexuality. I do not believe Mclaren intended to answer the actual biblical interpretation of same sex relationships.

Mark Driscoll's response has also garnered alot of attention.

As has McLaren's reposnse to Driscoll's reposnse. Got all that?


I am fairly confident that God's plan from the begining has been for monogomous realtionships between one man and one woman.

That being said, I appreciate and resonate with Mclaren's choice of the word "agonize," in his original article. I agonize over the separation I may have just put between God and someone in a same sex relationship by the first sentence of this paragraph. I agonize over memories of conversations where I have communicated what I believe to be the truth of God's word regarding same-sex relationships and have failed to communicate the truth of God's grace for us all, straight or gay. I agonize over not knowing how to communicate disagreement with someone on something as defining as sexuality while still communicating respect, love and concern. I agonize over the occasions where I feel like I have done all I can to communicate respect, love and concern and what was perceived was none of the above.

Is it possible to disagree with someone on an issue as defining as their sexuality and still be perceived as caring and loving and interested and concerned? Must we choose between grace and truth?


Technorati Tags: brian mclaren mark driscoll

What have I learned blogging: Tech stuff

As I think about blogging and why I participate in it, it occurs to me that I haven't learned so much in short period of time since college. And the stuff I have learned blogging I am actually remembering. There is this sum of knowledge that I have been able to gain from blogging that falls into two categories: Tech stuff and ministry in the way of Jesus. Then there is the personal and relational growth that has come with blogging. This post is devoted to the Tech stuff.

All the links below are courtesy of other bloggers, mostly those in the list to the left in my blogroll. I should have kept track of where I found these links or learned about these concepts.

In the tech arena, I have discovered software like FireFox, my browser of choice and Open Office, an open source productivity suite that is fully compatible with MS Office Writeboard, is an online collaborative writing tool complete with RSS feeds to keep track of updates. Speaking of RSS feeds, I can't imagine trying to keep up with any ongoing conversation without a feedreader or aggregator. Gail's laptop has FeedDemon on it, which I paid and I use a free Firefox extension called Wizz RSS.

I have learned some actual html code. I discovered podcasts and actually created a podcast for the weekly messages from Crossroads. I bumbled upon the concept of Web 2.0. As a result of a blog recco, I now have two flickr accounts: one for friends and family kinda stuff and one for ministry stuff.

The above are just the highlights I'm not sure I could ever recreate everything that I have gained from blogging.


tags:blogging tech

Why venture into the blogosphere?

I have had a couple of real-world conversations in the last week about blogging. The conversations were with non-bloggers. The questions posed to me ran the full length of the gamut from, "What is a blog? to Why do you blog? to Don't you think putting your thoughts and feelings out on the internet will come back to bite you?"

I have always kept those black marble composition notebooks. They are filled with thoughts and ideas, prayers and complaints, dreams and nightmares; basically just the the stuff that rattles around my brain. My blog(s) have just turned into an extension of those notebooks, I guess. Occasionally, someone will comment on something I have to say but that is more the exception than the norm.

Truthfully, I spend much more time reading and commenting on the blogs of those who are far smarter and way more insightful than I. There have been times in the past when I have posted something out of guilt. I did not/do not wanting blogging (or the insights and thoughts of others) to become one more thing that I consume. Those posts are usually worthless and if I went back and read through all my old posts I could probably pick those out with out much effort.

My posts usually consist of thoughts that aren't fully formed. Thus, the "bumbling" part of the title. I process better when I write things out. I guess it forces me to think things through. Take this post for instance, now I am asking myself why I blog?

tag(s): blogging

Good Day

Today was a good day.

Hung out with my 4 year old for a couple of hours in the a.m. (who has been rather ornery lately due to a parentally imposed ban from all movies, tv shows and video games related to Star Wars but was not so today) then off to my buddy Slink's for Cheeseburger subs and XBOX.

Like I said it was a good day.

On forgiveness

In a few weeks, I will be attending the Emergent Theological Conversation
at Yale. In preparation I have been reading Miroslav Volf's Exclusion and Embrace. Oh my aching brain!!! It's been a while since I have had to keep a dictionary next to me while reading a book. It's defintely been worth the effort though.

Volf has got me thinking alot about forgiveness or more correctly a lack thereof. Using Christ as the example Volf writes, " the victim who refuses to be defined by the perpetrator, forgives and makes space in himself for the enemy," the thought challenges me. By not forgiving those who harm us, hurt us, wrong us, we empower them further. Whatever resides in us where forgiveness belongs is a further product of the perpetrator. The original harm is magnified and continued by our own lack of forgiveness. Instead of the common misperception, my own misperception, of somehow forgiveness being a symbol weakness, it is indeed one of strength. Forgiveness is taking control of that which formerly controlled us. I think....

Own no property?

Andrew Jones has been posting a single thought per day from Bruce Larson and Ralph Osborne's The Emerging Church at Our Daily Blog. Below is today's quote:

"Consider the possibility that a church should own no property at all"

In many ways this idea appeals to me. No mortgage, significantly lower overhead, money can be put toward other things...
What if the the local geography is dotted with white clapboard buildings and steeples? What if the local context is heavy on traditional denominations? What if a church in a school or YMCA (gasp!!) was just too non-tradtitional for a traditional area? What if a building made it easier for some one to investigate a particular church because it simply looked like a church?

What if being in a public space placed a community of faith in the middle of everyday life? What if people stopped by just because they saw a sign or flyer or poster when they dropped their kids off for an afterschool progam?

I know the issues: financial, legitimacy in the eyes of a cynical public, faith traditions of the local geography, being apart of everyday life. I don't know the answers.

Anybody else?

Comments

I have gotten rid of my haloscan comments. Any comment older than four months was being held hostage by haloscan. Older comments get archived and are released from the archives only when you upgrade to a premium membership. For those of you who been gracious enough to comment here I still have acces to your thoughts but the rest of the world does not. Sorry about that!!! I'm done screwing with the template. So please feel free to comment without the fear that your thoughts will lost again.

Spiritual-Formation.com

Alan Hartung has launched a site devoted to growing in Christlikeness through the practice of the historic disciplines of Christianity. Read Alan's introduction to the site here. Visit Spiritual-Formation.com here.

Recent bumblings

Over the last couple of weeks traditional "quiet times," I really despise that term, (a friend from a long time ago used to wield the term like a spiritual sledge hammer) have been few and far bewteween. My bible reading has been specific to preparations for messages or research. My prayer time has been more of the spontaneous kind than scheduling 1/2 an hour to spend with God.
At the same time, I feel like I have known God's presence more in the last weeks than ever before. As I prepared Christmas Dinner for friends and family, I was moved to pray over the food I was preparing and the people who would hopefully enjoy it. And I became acutely aware of God's presence both in the work of my hands and in my prayers. Racing from dropping my son off at school, to the mall, to a meeting, I knew God's presence.
I'm not advocating a departure from the disciplines of seeking God. Without the disciplines, we severely limit our ability to learn, to grow and to experience God. What I am learning is awareness to, access to and experiencing God is not limited to a 30 minute "quiet time." He is bigger than that....

⁴There is one body and one Spirit--just as you were called to one hope when you were called-- ⁵one Lord, one faith, one baptism; ⁶one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. Ephesians 4: 4-6 NIV

In what "surprising" or "normal" or "everyday" places or events have you seen, felt or experienced God lately?

The right of God...

This is something I have been turning over in my head for while. It started as a message/conversation with some high school folks.

While he was on earth Jesus exhibited his power over the things of this world; wind and rain, loneliness, sickness, classism, racism and sexism. In his resurrection he exerted his power over death. So Jesus offers us the gift of forgiveness in the shape of the cross and offers us the gift of life, the life God intended for us here and now and life eternally with Him in heaven, in his resurrection.

How do we take hold of those gifts?

In Jesus' own words: “Follow me.” Follow Jesus, oh man, I'm gonna have to change, I'm gonna have to become all churchy, I'm gonna have to be sad and mope around and pray and stop having fun. Huh??? What????

So what does “Follow me” mean? I think Jesus himself answers this question in Matthew 6

So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' ³²For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well
Matthew 6:32-33 NIV

Our jobs as followers of Christ is to seek first the kingdom of God. What is the kingdom of God?

For the Kingdom of God is not a matter of what we eat or drink, but of living a life of goodness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. ¹⁸If you serve Christ with this attitude, you will please God. And other people will approve of you, too.
Romans 14:17 NLT

For the Kingdom of God is not just fancy talk; it is living by God's power.
1 Cor 4:20 NIV

Follow me is not necessarily saying the right things. Follow me is not necessarily doing the right things. It is much more than that. Those who thought they were saying the right things and doing the right things, the religious leaders of Jesus' day, were missing the point. To many of them, the appearance of kingdom of God did depend right action.

In Luke 17, a group of these religious leaders asked Jesus when they should expect the kingdom of God. He said don't look here or there. Look within. The Greek for within means the soul or the very deepest part of who we are. The meaning of the term for kingdom is not a literal physical kingdom rather the right to exercise authority or rule over.

The Kingdom of God, might roughly be defined as the right or authority of God to rule over the very deepest part of who we are.

At the very deepest levels of who we are God wants to be there. What's there now?

Other people's opinion's of us?
The pursuit of worldly desires?
Is it fear?
Depression?
Boredom?
Arrogance?

What is it that is ruling over the very deepest part of us? Following Jesus needs to be about a daily turning over of the deepest parts of who we are to God. This needs to be our concentration; making room in our soul for the God who loves us, died for us and rose from the dead for us.

Catching up!!

It's been slightly over 2 weeks since my last post. It has been quite the whirlwind two weeks at that. I got to teach at our Sunday Morning services on 11/27. Here is the link if you want to have a listen. The message that morning was on Philippians 3: 10-17, Pressing on and finishing the race.

Two days later, we left to meet my in-laws at Disney, the most "magical" place on earth. Gail and I spent our honeymoon there and we ventured back a second time to catch up with high school friends. It was a much different experience this time. Seeing and experiencing that place through the eyes of my 4 year old and 7 year old was something else. Almost too much. The guys, suffered from serious sensory overload. Jared fell asleep at lunch on two different occasions, once he actually dozed off mid-sentence. Jake's favorite part was the Indiana Jones stunt show which we did twice and Jared's was the Star Wars, Star tours ride, which we did 3 times. (Gail bowed out on round 3). It was one of those vacations you need a vacation from. It was great to see my brother-in-law for the first time in over year. He and Gail's sister Karen were great sports when either Jake, Jared or I had one of our moments. I think my highlight from the trip was the dinner all the adults got to share at the Artist's Point restaurant while the boys hung out in the Cub's Den. The food was great, the wine was outstanding and the company and conversation made the meal.

We returned to the cold and snow of the Northeast. I really don't like Kennedy Airport, but I don't want to start ranting. Friday the 9th, we got our first serious snow of the year. Even though I work out of the house and the snow has no real bearing on my ability to do my job I still love a snow day. We knew it was coming, so we rented a couple of video games and movies, purchased the fixins for gravy (that's the red kind) and stoked up the wood stove. It doesn't get much better than that.




The 11th was Gail's birthday. Special occasions are tough for us when they land on a Sunday. I was out of the house by 6:00 am. At least 5 people got to wish Gail a happy birthday before I did when I finally caught up with her in the hallway at church. After set-up, two services, take down and a student ministry leadership meeting, I wasn't home until 4:00. We celebrated that night with some Italian take out and cake.

And....I think I'm caught up.

a new life emerging: Please Stop It.

this is definitely worth the read.
My thoughts are far too muddy to try to write. thoughts????

argh!!!!

A friend, who runs our children's ministry, asked me to put together a little slideshow from a recent Sunday morning event. No problem...Import photos into iphoto, import song into in itunes, mix well, kick the whole thing over to iDVD then burn...15-20 minutes tops. 4 1/2 hours later I was still at it. I couldn't figure out, for the life of me, why the discs wouldn't play in our DVD player.
I sat back, took a deep breath and in a startling moment of clarity I remembered I had my ipod hooked up to the computer to charge. I really don't know why this would effect a DVD burn but I unplugged said ipod and tried again. Bingo!!! It worked.
I bumbled into bed at roughly 1:30 am, only to have get up a mere 4 hours later to start my Sunday. Needless to say I am iexhausted. Getting sleepy... eyes closing... very cranky...nite nite.

Unexpected gift

I received an unexpected gift two nights ago. I was at fundraising banquet for a friend who is on Young Life staff. Fortunately, I got to sit next to an old friend named Nick.
Our wives were making small talk with the folks sitting on either side of them. Nick leaned in real close to me and in whispered tones started telling me a story about something he and his wife recently went through. He described to me how they could see the effects of spiritual warfare in their lives, how they dealt with it and how they could see God's hand moving when they dared to live the life God intended; really a very cool story.
The coolest part though is Nick himself. I met Nick 12 years ago when he was a high school student. He started coming to a young life club we were running. Over time, he came to know and follow Christ. What an amazing thing to think back 12 years ago and then to sit there and listen to this man tell me stories about God in his life.
How I wish, every person who invested time in, reached out to, and hung in there with a high school student could have a conversation like the one I had with Nick.

Celebration of discipline 6&7-Simplicity & Solitude

I have combined my thoughts on chapters 6&7 because I needed to catch up. But as I went through Foster's chapters on Simplicity and Solitude (silence) I realized it makes sense to discuss them together. Foster's take on Simplicity and solitude comes down to a matter of trust.

Trust as it relates to Simplicity seems, well, a fairly simple concept. We entrust our possessions to God. We trust that God will provide, we trust that God will care for our stuff and we trust that if we give our stuff away God will honor our act of sacrifice.

Trust, as it relates to solitude, IMHO is a more complicated matter. It is trust indeed that that allows us to embark into solitude. Foster tells us that solitude and silence go hand in hand. Here is where the trust comes in: "We are so accustomed to relying upon our words to manage and control others. If we are silent who will take control? God will take control; but we will never let Him take control until we trust Him. Silence is intimately related to trust."

So...Do I trust God? With my possessions? I have good days and bad days. When money is tight I am much more likely to say, "okay God I'll take the wheel for a little bit."
This is one where I could really see Jesus looking at me and saying, like he said to the disciples, "Are you still dull?" He has provided for my family in miraculous ways, time and time again. And yet I still feel like I need control over my finances.

Do I trust God? With my silence? When it is just me and God, I have grown to really enjoy these times of silence. More to Foster's point, however, when there are others involved I am much more likely to break the silence. I attribute part of this to leaders I have worked and served under up to this point. Each of them very dynamic, outspoken, often opinionated men who lead with their words. At some level, I feel compelled to a more verbose leadership style. It often feels awkward and not at all my style. The rest is exactly like Foster describes. I often speak to control and influence those around me. I speak to make sure people leave me with the impression I desire. I need to trust God with my Silence.
If I can do that, I think I could actually be a more effective leader, husband, friend, father. If I were to concentrate on my silence I would be likely to "say what needs to be said when it needs to be said." I would hear more of what people are trying to say to me. People might leave with the impression that God desired rather than the one I desire.

Darth Jared

We celebrated my younger son Jared's 4th B-day this week. It was a Star Wars birthday; the gifts, the decorations, and the cupcakes. (Gail is an accomplished cake/cupcake decorator.)











The highlight of the b-day festivities was the Darth Vader Voice Changer. The thing spouts out quotes from the movie, does the heavy breathing bit and morphs your voice into a James Earl Jones replica.

Thougts on "Please no more doing church for them"

Ryan Bolger has started an excellent discussion on creating church services for "spiritual seekers." His premise is that we shouldn't because {my really rough paraphrase} :

1. inevitably we will screw it up
2. it defines following Christ as an hour a week
3. it perpetuates an us and them mentality (both sacred vs secular and laity vs clergy)
4. perpetuates a McDonald's form of spirituality (producer/consumer)

A couple of themes emerge from the comments:

1. Total agreement with Ryan's points
2. Why does a church service have to be either/or

This one, might be my favorite, as it hits very close to my suburban home:

What would it look like to be missional, that is, to apply your principles, in rural Wisconsin, (where IÂ’m from) or the average suburb? It might look more like what too many on the emerging church scene deride than they would like to imagine.
Posted by: David

I live in the cliche that is Trumbull, CT. A suburb, in the truest sense of the word. For the last 2-3 years I have struggled with totally resonating with the hopes, dreams and concerns of the emerging/missional church while living and ministering in the stereotypical context of the seeker church. As I wrestle with this paradox, I am drawn back to this thought from Ryan:

What Christians need to do is create meaningful worship through bringing their very own lives to God. Worship must reflect the culture of the community that is currently part of the church...Instead of mimicking other church cultures, the community collectively brings their own idiosyncratic ways of life to God, whatever they may be.

As I have contemplated this post, what excites me, what has eased my sense of struggle is, our little community is emerging in its own right. I think someone would be hard pressed to label Crossroads as seeker-sensitive or emerging or whatever. What that says to me is we truly are "reflecting the culture of our community," we are bringing our "indiosyncrasies," whether they be seeker-oriented or missionally-oriented, to God.

I am indeed grateful for this conversation and the ensuing mental gymnastics it inspired. Many thanks to Ryan and all who contributed.

Numb3rs !@$%#!

I have had conversations with youth guys and gals from around the country that just flat out make me sad and angry all at the same time. One youth pastor friend told me he received this direction from his Sr. Pastor: "Don't worry about spiritual development get more kids to your program. You can worry about the spiritual growth stuff later" No joke, that was a real conversation.

I talked to a couple of guys who run regional youth ministries for a megachurch. They have to call or email their boss the day after their programs and report attendance numbers.

I used to be a part of a ministry where we would brag about squeezing 100 kids into somebody's living room.

I run a youth ministry now where, on a big numbers night, we get 30 students.

I have never been more convinced that numbers just don't matter. The only number that matters is 1.
That 1 student who would never darken the door of a church but shows up at frisbee every week...
That 1 student, who is so hyper and obnoxious, you have to sit on him to get him to stay still...
That 1 student who steps up and leads...
That 1 student who shows up at your house because there is no one at his house who cares...
That 1 student who says thanks you are doing a good thing...
That 1 student who reaches out to his friends because somebody reached out to him...
That 1 student who says I'm never gonna believe any of this God stuff...
That 1 student who finally gets it...

I'll take that 1 student over the 100 anyday.

Celebration of Discipline 5-Study

Important bullets from the Discipline of study:

Good feelings will not free us. Ecstatic experiences will not free us. Getting "high on Jesus" will not free us. Without a knowledge of the truth, we will not be free.

What we study determines what kind of habits are to be formed.

Arrogance and a teachable spirit are mutually exclusive.

Remember that the key to the Discipline of study is not reading many books but experiencing what we do read.

Study produces joy.

Each of the above caused me to stop and think but what really captured my attention was Foster's discussion of the study of nonverbal books. Foster suggests that we devote time to the study of nature, relationships, technology, culture, institutions and ourselves. All of the above, seem to me worthwhile ventures. I was, however, taken aback by the thought of studying myself. At first it struck as mere navel gazing. In light of Foster's further discussion it seemed a more valuable and daunting endeavor. Foster suggests, "We should learn the things that control us. Observe your inner feelings and mood swings. What controls your moods? What can you learn about yourself from that?"

The two things that jump to mind as controlling factors in my life are my circumstances and other people's opinions; the results of growing up in the home of an alcoholic. Perfectionist tendencies and people pleasing can often bear way too much influence on my actions and decisions. A friend helped me make the connection between my family of origin and these two behaviors. (Foster's point about live discussions as part of the study process played out)
I know these factors exist. I even have an idea of when they are most likely to come into play. What I still need to learn, to study more on, is how to let the Holy Spirit work in, through, around, and hopefully instead of perfectionism and people pleasing.

Stories from St Bernard's

We got home from Louisiana late Saturday night amidst a downpour, the likes of which, I have never seen. I'm not sure what that is... irony? a reminder of where we just were? I don't know but it struck me as odd.

I met so many incredible people while working in St Bernard's Parish. The first person I met was Pastor Randy Millet. Randy lived in St Bernard's all his life. He lost everything, as did everyone else who lives in the Parish. He lost his house, his church, his community, he lost an aunt and uncle, whose bodies he found. And yet through it all he cannot be kept away from the people and the parish that he loves so much. Randy is the man running the relief center where we were working. As people came to the center, many of them returning from their homes for the first time since Katrina hit, Randy would greet them and through tear stained eyes he would give them a smile and a hug. In Randy Millet, the people of St Bernard's, find hope and strength. As we were preparing to leave on Friday Randy pulled me aside and thanked me for our work and compassion. I told him I wished we could do more. And then get this....he asked me what he could do for me.
As we hugged, Randy said, "Go home and tell our story, people need to know what is going on down here. Please tell our story."

I met a woman named Tina. She is now housing eleven members of her family who lost their homes in her temporary two bedroom apartment. Her family ranges in age from a grand-niece who is two months old to her mom who, I'm guessing is seventy-something. I carried some water to her car for her. She said "Thank you baaaby," as only a woman from New Orleans could.
I helped her mom June, get into the car. June told me how proud she was of Tina. All I could do was agree with her. June looked at me and thanked me for being there. If anyone has right to be bitter or angry it was Tina and June. They weren't. They were sad and heartbroken over their loss but they were the most gracious and grateful people I have ever met.

I met a man named Gene. Gene and his dog Humbug decided not to evacuate and brave the storm from their home. Gene, a proud 76 year old man, with a healthly swath of white hair told us his story. On the day Katrina hit, Gene told us he fell asleep on his couch for about an hour. He woke up and put his feet down on the carpet and thought little Humbug had had an accident. Then he realized his entire living room was under three inches of water. He told us, with a big smile, he knew Humbug wasn't a big enough dog to make that big a mess. The water in his home rose quickly. Gene and Humbug retreated to his attic then to his rooftop where he survived on Ensure for the next 8 days. Gene told us he got tired of waiting. So he attached Humbug's leash and they swam for it.
I said "you did what?"
Gene replied, "Oh it wasn't a big deal, I was a great swimmer in college. We just swam from rooftop to treetop to a floating piece of fence and just kept doing that until someone rescued us."
Gene told us how he was being treated like a celebrity, his senator even called to wish him well. Again with a big sly smile he told us how he kind of liked all the attention he was getting.

I met a man named Sam. This one started off a little rough. We loaded up the suburban with food, water and safety gear. We set off into the neighborhoods and were offering our supplies to the folks who were either working on their homes, meeting insurance adjusters or just trying to retrieve anything that might have survived the hurricane. We wanted to take pictures to show everyone back home just had bad things were. But, we also wanted to be sensitive to the people whose lives had been turned upside down. There was a crew from the power company working on a house. Two of the crew, or so we thought, were leaning against a vehicle taking a break. The house behind the crewmen had a sailboat resting on its roof. We slowed down to take a picture. It turns out that one of the crewmen was Sam and it was on his house where the boat had come to rest.
He said, "that will be a $1.50."
And we all kind of chuckled.
He said, "no really, you're gonna get that for free, that'll be a buck-fifty."
Realizing he wasn't joking, Todd, one of the guys in the back seat of the suburban, leaned out his window and offered him something to eat and drink. We stopped and talked for 1/2 an hour or so in front of his house. We talked about the damage to his house and his neighbor's houses. We talked about what he did before Katrina hit. We told him where the relief center was set up and ask him to please come there and take a rest and get a hot meal. He said "okay...maybe" and we parted ways.
Sam came by the relief center 3 or 4 times in the next two days. During one of those visits, Karen, one of our team, apologized to Sam for taking the photo of his house. She told him how she wanted to be able to show everyone back home the extent of the devastation. She told him how she hoped the pictures might encourage others to come down and help.
Sam replied, "if that's what it takes I'll put my house on the internet, I'll invite people into my living room so they can see first-hand how bad things are."

There are many, many more stories to tell. There are many, many more people who need someone to listen to them and to offer them a cold bottle of water. It's the volunteer relief workers who are doing these things and who will be needed to keep doing these things, and to help with the clean-up and to help with the rebuilding. If you are thinking about volunteering please check out one of these sites.

To help out in the Gulf Region:
PRC-Compassion
Samaritan's Purse
American Red Cross

To help out in your local area:
America's Second Harvest

St Bernard's Parish, LA

There is too much of everything to describe what is going on down here. We have been working a relief center in St Bernards Parish, described to us as the most devastated part of the greater New Orleans area, that has been opened back up. We unload trucks, hand out food and water, pray with a few people and listen to their stories. The people's stories of heroism, sadness, devastation and loss are heartwrenching. We all have pictures but they still won't explain what it is really like. the whole thing is very surreal soldiers with M-16, helicopters, the scenery is what I imagine a war zone would look like. Trucks where boats should be, boats where trucks should be, boats on rooftops.

We went out into some of the neighborhoods today to hand out food, water, gloves, and breathing masks for people who were trying to salvage remnants of their homes. I have tried to stay away from the media coverage of this thing but I wish the media would go into some the neighborhoods and try to capture what these folks are going through...still.

What has amazed me the most though, is the overwhelmingly positive attitudes and gratitude of the people of New Orleans.

... needs here are still overwhelming. We have been told donations and volunteers are down.

...more when I return next week.

Going to Louisiana

Posts have been few and far between recently.
I wrote the week after Katrina hit about the things I thought I should do and our community at Crossroads could do. Well not long after that I started feeling like I needed to go to New Orleans to do what I could. Here we are a couple weeks later and I am headed down to Louisiana tomorrow. We are bringing a small team of folks from Crossroads to help clean-up, pass out food and water, hang out with kids while their parents try to reassemble their lives, basically do whatever is needed. We partnered up with an organization called PRC Compassion out of Baton Rouge.
Please continue to pray for the people of the Gulf Coast. Pray for our team that we might have servant hearts and flexible attitudes. Pray that God might prepare us for whatever it is we might see and have to do.

Celebration of Discipline Part 3-Imagination and Prayer

How surprising it was to me, in a chapter on prayer, Foster spent a great deal of time on imagination; imagining answers to prayer, imagining God's power surging through you as the one praying, imagining the light and love of Christ.
When you stop and think about it makes perfect sense. In athletics, we are coached to visualize the game saving tackle, in business we are encouraged to visualize closing the big deal. I don't think I ever took the time to imagine a prayer through to it's successful completion.
As I sit here, I imagine my college roommates discovering Jesus. I imagine my mom happily remarried to a man who loves her and loves the Lord. I imagine my boys as grown men reaching out to hurting people with the Love of Christ. I imagine the students God has entrusted to me owning their faith. I imagine Gail and I, all old and wrinkly, sitting on the front porch waiting for the grankids to arrive. I imagine....Amen.

The Celebration of Discipline. Parts 1 & 2

Two lines jumped out at me from the very first page of the book.

The desperate need today is not for a greater number of intelligent people, or gifted people, but for deep people.

In fact, the disciplines are best exercised in the midst of our normal daily activities.

I would love to be thought of as a deep person. I would love for that to be the case as witnessed by those who see me in my "normal daily activities." I think the ability to be deep in the midst of our everyday lives ties directly into the concept he talks about in Chapter 2 on Meditation, Otium Sanctum: " holy leisure" p 20. If I am guilty of idolatry in any area of my life it is in relation to my schedule. If I am not doing, if I am not running from one meeting or program to the next, if I am not "stressed out," then I must be doing something wrong. Foster's answer to my predicament is to "pursure holy leisure with a a determination that is ruthless to my datebook." Ouch!!

What will people think of me if I am not constantly moving? What if I exhibited peace instead of stress? What if my schedule reflected balance? Ssomeone might accuse me of being deep.

-----------------------

A great tool that I have found for guided contemplative prayer is Sacred Space. It is a daily prayer site run by Irish Jesuits. I have found it really helpful in the process Foster describes as, "emptying the mind in order to fill it"

Links worth a look

Usually, when I get pointed to a new blog and I find it compelling, I will drop it in my feedreader and just go about my merry way. I was recently pointed to Jesus the Radical Pastor written by John Frye and knew I needed to let more people know about it. John's writing is down to earth, insightful and challenging. If you are serious about living life in the way of Jesus then you need to check out Jesus the Radical Pastor.

Steve of Ragamuffin Ramblings has set up A Virtual Celebration to journey through Richard Foster's Celebration of Discipline. I have read the book before but look forward to the group-think of this classic.

Last month's issue of Wired magazine offered an article on the best of the audioblogs. The recco that I have enjoyed the most is Music for Robots.

Enjoy

Katrina

I actually started a post about Katrina last night. As I was writing it the news came on and I was overwhelmed, I deleted what I had written and went to bed.

Not sure why necessarily, but after reading Steve's post on Katrina and her victims I felt moved to do something.
So I will pray and I will give. I am encouraging our community at Crossroads to do the same. I would encourage you to do the same. Pray for the victims and their relatives, pray for the rescue workers, police and National Guard trying to restore order.
For those of us geographically far removed from the area send financial support.

Here are links to Americares and the Red Cross. I reccomend these two because very high percentages of our donations actually go to help those in need rather than bankrolling big bureaucracies.

Days are getting shorter

After a whirlwind couple months of trips, of life change, of soaring highs and tragic lows the days are getting shorter, my boys have gone back to school...summer is over.

A number of images will stay with me long after the days of this summer have gone. The one that has replayed itself the often in my head was our trip to the National Seashore on the east coast of Cape Cod. Earlier in the summer, Gail and her mom had taken the boys there while I was in Philadelphia. By all accounts it was the perfect day. The water was warm, the breeze was slight and the waves were perfect for a seven year old to ride his boogie board with his mom.

When we returned it appeared to be another perfect day on the Cape. Jake couldn't wait to ride the waves with me. He was chomping at the bit, like a horse waiting in the gates before the start of a race. As we descended the walkway to the beach I couldn't believe all the people. Blankets, umbrellas, buckets, coolers and bodies as far as the eye could see. I noticed something else though, all those people on the beach and only three people in the water. The next thing I noticed was something that sounded like a never ending peel of thunder. Wave upon wave crashed, receded and ran into the next that crashed on top of it. I looked at Gail and said "You two rode those things. "
She replied "they were...uh... different"
We got settled and Jake strapped the leash of his boogie board to his wrist, grabbed me by the hand and shouted "Let's go."
We stood at the shoreline for while. As the waves broke over my feet and shins I felt a dull pain. It was the chill of 59 degree water that was aching me. It didn't seem to bother Jake at all. "Come on Dad let's go, let's go."
"You sure bud?" I said.
"Yeah, come on," and all of a sudden we were standing in the impact zone of the waves.
"Okay, let's go." We paddled through the first waves to beyond the break. I spotted the next big one, "Here it comes bud, kick" I shouted over the waves. Sharing the same board, we kicked and caught the wave, which was way bigger than either one of us expected. It tore me off the board, flipped me over and pounded me into the rock and sand. I found my feet and popped up looking for Jake. I saw his feet and the red of swim suit rush by me as the next wave broke on top of him and knocked me for another loop. I again righted myself and began to search frantically for him. Another wave dumped him with in arms-reach and I grabbed him.
We were both bruised and scraped and wearing about 12 pounds of sand but otherwise okay.
Gail came rushing down to see if we were okay and comforted Jake as only a mother could after a harrowing experience.
I was bent over trying to catch my breath. I replayed the last two minutes in my head. I realized what a stupid thing we had done. As I look around, I also noticed that our little adventure had attracted a small crowd of people who were in that frigid water up to their thighs. As they recoginized Jake was okay they dispersed.
In that instant, for that brief period of time, a small group people had come together because my son was in trouble. They got out of their chairs and up off their blankets and braved the sting of the cold water and the harshness of the waves to try to help Jake. For that moment, we were connected and I was moved by the concern of complete strangers for my son. I am grateful for their efforts. What an awesome picture of otherwise disconnected people coming together for the sake of my son.

What thoughts from the Summer of '05 are gonna stay with you?

Sad News

The phone, at my in-law's, rang early this Monday morning. It was our friend Stacee calling to tell us there had been a terrible accident. Our friend John had had a massive heart attack while riding his motorcycle and died late Sunday night. John leaves behind his wife Sarah and two children Emily 5, and Luke 2.
This week has been a blur for their family of emotion and activity. Please pray for them, for comfort and peace and rest and for God's presence to be with them, now more than ever.

V A C A T I O N

We had a great week, last week, at Young Life's Saranac Village with our high school students. A couple of our kids made first time comittments to Christ and others took huge steps on their journies. Oh yeah and we managed to have a blast too!!!

Now I get to go away with my own kids for a while. Nothin' but beach and sun and rest and getting to know each other again after a really hectic summer. So... I won't be posting for the next week or so.
Peace and prayers.

Intergen stuff happening

There are several conversations going on in the blogosphere regarding intergenerational ministry. This one at emergent-us had a great original post and handful of comments, then the whole thing got derailed and wound up in some nasty name calling and finally landed on a discussion of Marxism, I think. So check out the original post and the first 10 or so comments.
Matthew over at M Squared T blog has some good thoughts too.
In the real world, our Sr. pastor gave a message a few weeks ago about change and why it is so important and how hard it can feel and actually be. He used a phrase that has stuck with me, "We need to make room for each other."
In my mind, that phrase sums it all up. The task of not only crossing age barriers, but cultural barriers, financial barriers, ethnic barriers will be much easier if we could simply make room for each other.
We have been hard at work to make room for each other at Crossroads. Several weeks ago, all of our music was rap. Three of our college-aged guys wrote and performed all the music that week. This past week, our band consisted of Richie age 13 on guitar, Sam age 20 on drums, and Brian age 40-something on bass and vocals. They opened with this reworked version of Come Thou Long Expected Jesus. It's definitely worth a listen.
Did eyebrows raise as Sam, Richie and Brian led us in worship? Yup. Were some people a little uncomfortable with the music style? Yup. Did the place erupt with applause when they finished? Absolutely. We are not there yet...but I get really excited about this picture.

An amazing week in Philly

That's all 21 of us on the steps of the Philadelphia Museum of Art, you know, the steps Sylvester Stallone ran up in the original Rocky movie.

The week was truly amazing. Each one of us was stretched way outside of our comfort zones. We hung out with folks in the parks of west Philly, sang songs and visited with seniors in the area, worked in local food pantries, repaired roofs, painted and cleaned up.


Each night the worship experiences were powerful and moving. (Despite the fact that the first 2 days we were there, there was no power and no a/c and the thermometer hit 100) I prayed prayers of commitment, prayers of confession and prayers of surrender with several of our students. God truly did amazing things in us and through us.

I think the thing that excites me most is our students saw that in serving others, they might realize the "life to the full," that Jesus describes in John 10.

Fuge in Philly

We are taking off tomorrow a.m. on Crossroads first missions trip. I am bringing 3 other adults and students ranging in age from 11-20 to reach out to the people of the greater Philadelphia area with a group called MFuge. I have the usual garble of pre-trip emotions excitement, anxiety, stress, anticipation. It's all good. I truly believe God is gonna do life changing stuff in and through us during this trip.

If you are reading this, please pray for our safety, that we might have servant hearts and attitudes, and that we might all look and act a little bit more like Jesus when we return.


Peace and prayers.

What is the gospel?

Over at Wade Hodges.com, Wade is asking the question, "What is the gospel?"

It seems like a simple question with simple answers found in the bible.
God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son...yes!
Love God and Love Others....yes!
Look after orphans and widows in their distress...yes!

Living it, is quite different. Jaimie, a 10 year old friend mine is living it. Yesterday was his birthday. You know what he did to celebrate his birthday? He remembered an elderly woman who he sang Christmas carols to in December. He remembered that he shared a birthday with her. All day long he bugged his parents about going to wish her a Happy Birthday. Last night, he dragged his Dad out to go tell a 90 year old lady that he remembered her and wanted to wish her a Happy Birthday.

At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?"
He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

Sometimes other's words are better than my own

I ask for the grace to believe
in what I could be and do
if I only allowed God, my loving Creator,
to continue to create me, guide me and shape me.

From Sacred Space..The prayer site run by Irish Jesuits.


I need you
To be here now
To be here now
To hear me now
To hear me now

I need words
David Crowder Band

Intergenerational bumblings

Over at M Squared T Blog, Matthew has a couple of great posts about connecting folks with God across generations.

I would add the following to reasons why intergenerational worship, I would widen the thought to intergenerational communities of faith, is so danged important.

I believe it would help retain some of the fallout that the church experiences of the 18-25 year old demographic. In other words, it may help solve the "okay I'm too old for youth group but too young(or too bored or too whatever...) for anything else" mystery. We ask students to go from an environment of sometimes barely controlled chaos to a shall we say "more subdued" Sunday Morning experience. Making Sunday morning the primary worship experience for all ages would provide some contituity. In order to effectively engage a wide span of generations could take considerable retooling of the worship experience. That might not be a bad thing either?

(Let me preface the next reason with this; I acknowledge that there is much more at work in the emerging conversation than a generation gap. With that said....) The seeker movement grew out of a generation's discontent with their parent's way of doing church. The emergent movement has grown out of generations' discontent of their parents' way of doing and their lack of being church. 18-20 years from now, I can easily see, another upheaval, grown out of yet another generation's discontent with the current manifestation of church. Being church across generations, truly being church across generations, including people of all ages in everything from music to teaching to leadership to service has to minimize the generational discontent. If up and coming generations of Christ-followers are allowed, and encouraged to provide input into their communities of faith they will shape a future they will be more than content with.

I'm sure there are more great reasons to create truly intergenerational communities. I 'd love to hear 'em....

The reasons for bringing the generations together are many so are the questions....
How do we, not only include but empower, younger generations to participate and shape church?
How do we make these changes at a deep level not just on the surface?
How do we challenge and encourage the more mature generations to invest what they have to offer (which is an incredible amount) in the younger generations?
How do we challenge and encourage the more mature generations that they can indeed learn from someone half their age?
Where is it appropriate to include younger followers in leadership discussions?
How do we prepare a community that lives in an age-segregated society for a change in age roles within the church?

Rantacious

Someday, when I grow up, I hope to be half the writer that my brother-in-law Ward is.

His blog is midwestward ho.

He has been ranting quite a bit lately, some real beauts. My favorites are of the Katie Holmes/Tom Cruise variety.

Anyway, stop by and show him some love.

Redneck Theology

stuck
Originally uploaded by kayos.

I witnessed something this weekend that had a holy feel to it, a redemptive quality about it.

Gail and the boys and I went to visit my Dad in Maine this Weekend. He has a good size piece of property and has quickly assumed many of the trappings of country life. On his property their are 4 structures, a house with a beautiful wrap around porch. The porch is littered with old window sills, ladders jacks, empty flower pots and all sorts of other miscellaneous stuff. Next to the house is a shed, it is a mini replica of the house sans the porch. Siding, shutters, shape, it is really quite a attractive. About fifty yards from the shed is what my Dad calls the boat house. He built it to look like a covered bridge. It definitely did until the blue tarps went up on either end and old lumber and scraps of metal began to pile up on either side. Finally there is a building which Dad calls the lean-to. It stores more old windows and pieces of wood, and laminate beams. And again more stuff piled around it. Behind the boathouse is a firepit. The area behind all the structures is open field. Do you have the picture in your head? Wait just to fill it in a little bit more there are a couple of dog's running around. There are also a couple of kids darting in and out of the picture. My boys are shirtless, one wearing camouflage shorts and the other camouflage pants

My Dad has become a redneck. (As have I by association to both my father and sons) I use that term with the utmost affection.

One of the highlights of our trips to Maine is my Dad's truck. He actually has two, the big one is the cool one though. It is a V10 four-wheel drive monster. I didn't even know they made such a thing as a V10. My Dad will sit Jake or Jared on his lap, behind the wheel of this beast and let them "drive" the truck through the fields. Jared got to go first this time. Dad and Jared circled the wet fields just fine; mud spraying out of the back tires. Jake sat as patiently by as any 6 year old could, hooting and hollering, both in applause of his younger brother's performance and in anticipation of his own turn.

Finally, the truck came to a stop and Jared descended from the cab, grinning from ear to ear. In one fluid motion, Jake was up and in the truck on my Dad's lap ready to go. Dad and Jake took off around the property. You could hear Jake laughing and giggling over the sounds of the truck lurching and tires churning. They were coming to the end of their ride when the truck found some really wet ground. Mud flew everywere. The truck came to a halt. You could see my Dad talking to Jake but couldn't really hear what he was saying. I could tell by watching my Dad, he was engaging the 4-wheel drive. They hit the gas more mud, more tires spinning. Dad put Jake in the passenger's seat, things were getting serious now. He started trying to rock the truck back and forth. There wasn't much rocking going on, just sinking. You could actually see the truck sink into soft muck.

We tried everything. We dug. We put old roofing shingles under the tires. (Of course, there happened to be some old roofing shingles in the lean-to.) My sister's boyfriend and I tried to push. Both of us wearing sandals and shin deep in mud, quite the sight to behold. We brought the little truck over and attached a chain to the big truck and tried to yank it out. Nothing... but more mud and spinning tires...Both trucks sinkning further into the mud. Fortunately, we were able to extricate the little truck but the beast was still stuck. My Dad stopped and said this isn't working and went into the house. He returned and told us he called for help.

About 10 minutes later, the most rugged ol' 1 ton truck you could imagine pulls down the dirt road. An older guy in a tank top and mesh trucker's cap (the authentic kind, that let you know that this guy actually drove a piece of heavy equipment at one time, not the Ashton Kuchar poser kind) emerged from the cab. He and my Dad shook hands and exchanged pleasantries. I was watching from a distance, trying to keep the boys from either being run over by a truck or sinking into the mire. My Dad and his friend walked around the truck, surveying the situation. The older guy was now in the mud and muck right next to my Dad. They conferred for few seconds and then set about connecting the ol' 1 ton to my Dad's very stuck truck. They each climbed into their repsective vehicles, my Dad gave the thumb's up to signal he was ready. Both slowly and cautiously step on the accelerators. The forward truck pulled away...my Dad's truck still stuck. The chain connecting the two vehicles had come loose. After some quick reconnecting and tugging to double-check the chain's connection, both men climbed back into the trucks. The 1-ton pulled away, the chain went taught, Dad jumped on the accelerator of his truck and both vehicles pulled forward onto dry ground.

Everyone cheered and clapped as both men got out of the trucks. Dad and his friend exchanged a few more words, put the chains away and the man in the tank top and mesh trucker's hat drove away. My Dad returned to us, all smiles and proceeded to tell us all about the guy who just dragged him out of the mud onto solid ground.

I witnessed something this weekend that had a holy feel to it; a redemptive quality about it.

Keep it simple....

Jake and I were reading his learn-to-read bible before bed last and we came across this version of Genesis 12:1-7:

Abraham loved God
God said, "GO!"
So he went.
He went.
and went
and went.
He went until God said, "Stop!"

How straight forward, how simple, how hard to do...

Book Tag

Got tagged by Wilsonian for the book tour. Let's see what this yields...

Number of Books I own:

In the ball park of 200. (Embarassing side note, as I was gazing over the bookshelves I found the long forgotten classics Investing, Wine and Entertaining for Dummies. I was young...I don't know..)

The last book I bought:

The Out of Bounds Church by Steve Taylor

Last Book I read:

The Last word and the Word after that by Brian McLaren

Books that mean alot to me:

The first two grace, grace, grace and more grace
Traveling Merices by Anne Lamott
Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning
This next one; it's all about character
Uprising: A revolution of the Soul by Erwin Mcmanus

One that is just memorable because it is bizarre and quirky:
Another Roadside Attraction by Tom Robbins
This was one of the two books (the other was Giants of the Earth by O.E Rolvaag) I actually read in college. Hippies and Catholic Church Cover Ups. The passage that has stuck with me from the novel seems somewhat trivial. One of the man characters gets caught in a rainstorm. His stride is different than everyone else around him taking the same walk. The other people all have their shoulders pulled up tight. Trying to suck their heads down into their torso, like they were some sort of turtle. It's the rain walk that each of us does. The main character stands tall and walks upright throughn the rain. His rationale... none of us has an umbrella so we are all gonna get wet. Nothing we can do about it. They are gonna be uncomfortable and look goofy. I'm just gonna stand up straight and enjoy the rain.

Another 5 to tag:

I could be the end of the road... The people who would be on my list have already been tagged.

Being 6 is hard work

That's Jake, the only one in a red jersey. It's been a frustrating season for him. His team last year did not lose. His team this year has not won a single game. It's still fun to watch him play. He is all energy and loves to mix it up. (maybe a little too much)

transforming secular space

I read this on the new blog of Ryan Bolger. I realize his point was in reference to teaching specifically on worship. However, this one phrase, describing emergent churches, jumped out at me...."transforming secular space." It got my wheels turnin'.

We currently run 3 services in two different locations at Crossroads; a saturday night service at a community center in stratford and two Sunday morning services at the YMCA in Trumbull.
We ran out of room at the YMCA and at the same time realized we had a large group of folks coming from Stratford up to Trumbull so we launched a 3rd service at the Community center in stratford. We wanted to open up seats in Trumbull so we would have room to invite our friends and feeling like God was moving in stratford, we wanted to be a part of what He was doing there.
We have opened up seats in Trumbull and we are starting to have an impact in Stratford. In both locations part of our impact has been simply because we are in the middle of the community. We are where people go throughout the week. We take secular space and transform it.

People are working their butts off to make this happen. There are three of us on staff and everyone else is volunteer. We transform a cafeteria and gym into a sanctuary and then take it down again every weekend. Our folks look tired. For the most part, people have maintained great attitudes, for the most part. We have lots of conversations about avoiding burn-out.

The question on everyone's mind is, "Will we ever have a place of our own?" That has been the question on my mind as well. Recently though, for me, the question has evolved into "Should we have a place of our own?" Are we more effective being in the middle of the community? Being in a non-traditional/traditional place like New England, would we be more effective if we had white clapboard siding and a steeple? Would that give us more legitimacy in the highly cynical eyes of New Englanders? If we weren't so busy setting up and taking down (and recovering from that) would we have more time to reach out to our friends, to those in need around us? What would we be sacrificing by moving out of secular space? Jesus spent most of his time outside the temple walls, right? If we built temple walls would would those wall become "a refuge from the world or a refuge for the world?"

My world view

Here is my world view as determined by this little quiz I found via Jen Lemen's blog.

You scored as Cultural Creative. Cultural Creatives are probably the newest group to enter this realm. You are a modern thinker who tends to shy away from organized religion but still feels as if there is something greater than ourselves. You are very spiritual, even if you are not religious. Life has a meaning outside of the rational. Cultural Creative 88% Fundamentalist 63% Romanticist 50% Postmodernist 44% Existentialist 38% Idealist 38% Modernist 13% Materialist 0% created with QuizFarm.com

me and bubba trying to catch a nap

me and bubba trying to catch a nap
Originally uploaded by kayos.

When I used to dream of fatherhood this was the picture that would come to mind. Unfortunately, the nap part is all too rare.

getting your rocks off in NY

My friend Dan taught at the Saturday morning session of our Men's retreat this past weekend. Dan talked about character being central to our relationships; regardless of who those relationships are with. He talked alot about servant leadership and Christ's example, and gave great examples from David's life; examples of moments of really Godly character and not-so-godly character.
He also gave us each a rock. And we talked for a while about how that rock represents the crap in our lives that corrupts our character and harms our relationships. Our challenge was to get rid of that rock before we returned home on Sunday. Dan encouraged us to chuck the rocks off of one of the camps scenic overlooks or to bury it deep in the ground of Upstate NY. That's when somebody chimed in "yeah we can go home and tell everyone we got our rocks off in NY." I got creative and drowned my rock. I threw into one of ponds. I really had no desire to ever see that rock again.

I knew Dan was gonna do a great job with his teaching but I didn't realize how great it was gonna be or how deeply it was gonna impact all of us.

is it broked?

In my continued bumbling, I thought for sure I broke this blog for good last night. If this actually posts all is not lost. Several hours later... I'm not sure what I did exactly...but I think i am back in business and with a 3 column template...just what I always wanted.

360- Men's Retreat

One of the amazing views from Camp Pinnacle, where we took 32 guys from Crossroads this past weekend. It was an amazing trip...guys grew closer to God and to each other. We laughed alot, hung out, got way beyond the surface, and shot each other repeatedly with little round balls of paint.
I haven't digested everything yet so I'm sure there will be more to come

Template #$%!&*)!

Messing with the template...as with everything a work in progress

More on the Last word and the Word after that

I wasn't planning on a string of post's on McLaren's new book but it is causing much mental wrestling.

I read these words found on page 121 in reference to the many gospel passages that speak of behavior, judgement and its consequences.

Neil: What's the point that Jesus is trying to make?
Dan: One thing it defintely wasn't just as you predicted. It wasn't 'hold the right beliefs,' 'affirm the right doctrines' or anything like that. Instead, Jesus was clearly interested in action, in what we do, in how we treat others, especially, and in whether we trust him enough to follow his teaching even if it means difficulty and persecution. It was clear that Jesus wasn't just saying anything goes, everything's OK. He was telling people that they would be held accountable that how they live now would count forever.

As I read that, this passage in Ephesians came to mind.

Ephesians 2:8-10

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

My gut reaction, I think mostly from my conservative evangelical background, was "McLaren is advocating a works based theology." I was cringing, thinking okay he is going down a bad road here. Then I went and actually reread the passage from Ephesians, in it's context. When the passage gets cited, verse 10 is often left out. I have read the book of Ephesians numerous times. But as I reread it this time, I was almost surprised as I read v10.

"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works..."
Why do we leave that part out? Are we just that lazy? The modern church, maybe unwittingly, has been enabling the bad behavior of Christians. "I believe the right things, I am good, I am covered." When in realilty, through God's grace, good works, especially to those and for those on the edges of society are now our responsibility, our mandate, our mission.

These verses are not our eternal get out of jail free card. They are our marching orders. The gift of grace has been lavished upon us. I can think of no more precious gift, nothing more extravagant, nothing more costly. We must live it out. We have been given much. Much is expected from us.

Something new at Leadership

I have a group of adults who help me lead our student ministries. Last night at our regular Leadership meeting I tried something new. Instead of doing a traditional bible study or training on how reach out to teenagers we did a group contemplative prayer/Lecto Divina kinda thing.
I actually walked our group through the daily prayer for May 9 from Sacred Space, a contemplative prayer site run by the Jesuits.
I was really nervous about how it would be received. I had pictured everything from giggles, to questions about when I became a Yogi.
It was received really well. Everyone was into it. Comments like "that was awesome, I have never done anything like that before" and "I am totally relaxed now" and "What struck me during our prayer time was how grateful I am for all of you and this church and this ministry."
Trying new stuff is worth the risk...at least this time it was.

Keeping me up at Night...for a different reason

I was able to spend a little bit of time with the friend I wrote about here.
Now there is something Keeping me up at Night...for a different reason.
He told me that he thought a big part of the reason he came home was to be a part of making our church a place where college folks would want to check out Jesus. He said felt like it was God bringing him back here, like there was something he needed to do here. I couldn't be more excited...for him, for me, for our whole community.
God is good and I can't wait to see what he is going to do next.

Party in the Living Room, Torture in the Basement

This is the title of the 4th chapter of Brian McLaren's new book The Last Word and the Word After That. In the chapter, the main character, Rev. Dan Poole retells the story of his daughter's confrontation with a member of her campus' Christian fellowship regarding the concept of hell.

Rev Dan's daughter, Jess, sums up here difficulties with the idea of hell this way in a previous chapter, "If Christianity is true, then all the people I love except for a few will burn in hell forever. But if Christianity is not true, then life doesn't seem to have much meaning or hope. I wish I could find a better option."

In chapter 4 Jess had decided that becoming a universalist was the best way for her to handle hell. So during a sharing time at a meeting of her campus fellowship she decides to share that fact. Her proclamation was met with silence.
A girl named Joanna catches up with her after the meeting and explains why universalism is one of the worst heresies facing Christianity. Joanna goes on to say that Jess' views on heaven and hell, the Party in the Living Room, Torture in the Basement analogy are worldly. And that Jess lacks an understanding of "God's holiness and justice and God's ways are higher than are ways and whatever..."

I actually stopped and put the book down after reading that section. My brain was cloudy with memories of similar conversations. Conversations, discussions and arguments that took place, 15 years ago in college, 10 years ago with family members, five years ago with high school students, 18 months ago in front of an entire congregation as I helped lead a question and answer day at our church. In hindsight, I am not proud to say, that I was the Joanna character, at least externally. Very matter of factly, very ananlytically stating to friends that " yeah people they know and love will end up in hell." Even before reading this book, the memories of those conversations were not fond ones. The feelings that accompany those memories are ones of regret, of inadequacy, and of betrayal. The Rev Dan character sums up my memories of those conversations later in the book when he says "I had been pretending to know something when deep down inside I didn't."

All this to say that, I no longer feel comfortable, right or good playing the role of Joanna. Nor do I think universalism is the way to go. I am a man without a home. As a youth pastor it feels like a dangerous place to live.

MAdnesS within

it calls me to the impossible!
it will not relent!
there is no escaping!
This madness that exists within.
it will not let me be]
comfortable]
stationary]
docile]
This madness that exists within.
it was ignited by love/
its flame fanned by passion/
if i try to extinguish it/
it grows/
it is insatiable/
This madness that exists within.
to love the One:.
to love the unlovable:.
to love in spite of the cost:.
to love because of the cost:.
paid by the one:.
who created:.
This madness that exists within.
i am not alone/
i know there are others/
pursued by it/
driven by it/
consumed by it/
This madness that exists within.
there is no therapy]
no program]
no drug]
no cure for]
This madness that exists within.
i am forever in its debt!
i am forever in its grip!
there is no place that I would rather be than with!
This madness that exists within.

Heart pounding

I am reading through the Relevant Church, kinda skipping around. I just finished Holly Rankin Zaher's chapter on Three Nails, an emerging Episcopal Church plant in the Pittsburgh area.
I'm not sure exactly what it was about the story of Three Nails that got me so fired up, but it did. As I read about their planning and praying and discussing what an emerging community of faith might look like, my heart literally began to pound.
There is excitement about the new and untried. There is excitement about maybe reaching people for Christ. There is excitement about something new!!!???

Keeping me up at night

I have been losing sleep lately, not because my kids are sick or I'm stressed out about getting kids signed up for summer camp but over a friend.
A former student from our high school group, decided art school wasn't for him. So he is home now. He did great at school, good grades, made friends; just came to the decision that he wasn't sure he wanted to waste his parents money on another semester of something he just wasn't sure about.
So the thought that is keeping me awake is this: I don't think he really got involved in any kind of church while he was at school. Will he come back to church? The thought that thought grows into is: Once, all our kids leave high school will they find a church? Once their parents aren't there to kick them out of bed, will they get up and go to church? Will they pick up their bibles? Will they search out other people following Christ? Is church, our church, a place, both literally and figuratively, where post-high school age people can come, will want to come, to explore faith and Jesus Christ?
Am I even asking the right question? Is our community of faith, a community that is willing to hang out with young adults?
I am happy my friend is home. It will be good to reconnect with them.
This is a subject I hope to return to often. Its potential upside is huge as far as reaching young adults goes, and it's potential downside is just as large, in that we are at risk of losing a generation.

Blog map

Thought this was kinda cool.

Chained to my circumstances

We started a series at church this week called Life to the Full. I knew it would reach a lot of people right where they are at . I didn't expect to be one of those people. Week 1 was called Releasing the Chains, as each person entered the room they were handed a small card with a picture of a big ol' chain on it. Rich used examples of how Christ freed people from various chains, the paralytic whose 4 friends lowered him through the roof, Legion and the herd of pigs, and the Pharissee and the tax collector at the altar. The service ended with Rich asking us to spend a few minutes with God asking him to release us from our chains, whatever they might be. Then to take that picture of the chain and leave it at the foot of the cross at the front of the room, symbollically asking Christ to free us of our chains.

Up until that moment, I would have said I didn't have any chains. But God's spirit moved in me; showed me how I am chained to my circumstances. Rather than resting in Christ's presence, I slog and bumble and hurk and jerk from one circumstance to the next. High as a kite one moment from an awesome conversation with someone.... dragging tail the next, looking like someone just shot my puppy because the guy at Home Depot handed me the wrong washer and i didn't realize it until I got home. Giddy as a school girl one momemnt because someone just told me how one of my messages really spoke to them...feeling like someone hit me in the stomach with a bat the next, because there is realtional drama amongst our high school students.
I really do want to grow up, to be mature in my faith. Unfortunately, the more I thought about it the more I have allowed myself to be at the total mercy of my circumstances rather than at Jesus' total mercy. So I got up, walked to front of the room and left the chain of my circumstances at the foot of cross.